Where to start when getting a divorce

Starting divorce proceedings can be a very emotional and stressful time. If you’re looking to understand more about how the divorce process works, what is the first thing you should do if you want to get divorced, or how to explain to children you are divorcing, then we’ve pulled together some advice to help you out in this Q&A with head of family law, Leanne Pollard.

What is the very first thing I should do if I want to get divorced?

Leanne: The very first thing to do is to have a free initial consultation with a specialist family solicitor.  They will break things down for you to make the whole situation feel less overwhelming and will give you advice on each area.

In terms of the divorce process itself, this is a court application that is usually done through an online portal.  You probably won’t need to actually attend courts as it’s very rare that either party needs to do so and, particularly since fault-based divorces have been abolished, it is usually a non-contentious process. The whole divorce process takes a minimum period of six months.

Do I have to use a solicitor to get a divorce?

Leanne: You don’t have to use a solicitor to get a divorce and, since the process has been simplified, people often don’t. What’s essential, though, is to take legal advice from a family lawyer about the financial implications of the divorce. If you don’t sort this properly, the consequence of errors and oversights are significant – so more often than not, it is more cost effective to use a solicitor in the first instance.

I don’t even know where to start when thinking about settlements, dividing finances and our assets. What would you advise?

Leanne: I usually break the situation down into separate issues to reduce confusion and make the situation less overwhelming.  I can then provide specific advice on each area, run through options and the costs implications of each option, and help clients to formulate a plan of action for tackling each issue. 

“I usually break the situation down into separate issues to reduce confusion and make the situation less overwhelming.” 

I feel very nervous about getting a divorce working with a solicitor? What will it be like?

Leanne: Family solicitors are normal, down-to-earth people with their own lives and families, and who have your best interests at heart.  Most clients have told me they feel a great sense when they’ve instructed a solicitor because they know they have someone with the right qualifications and experience to help and support them through the process.

My partner isn’t being cooperative – what should I do?

Leanne: If you’ve filed for divorce and your partner isn’t being cooperative, things can be more difficult because the more amicable options like direct communication and mediation are no longer a possibility. In a situation like this, we would advise you of the options available - and the cost implications of each option - to ensure matters get resolved regardless of the initial lack of cooperation.

How do I explain to my children we are getting divorced?

Leanne: Explaining you are divorcing to your children, especially young children, is always emotional. I would advise you to use the CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Services) website, as there is lots of useful guides and resources on there.  CAFCASS independently advises the Family Court on what is in a child’s best interest and become involved if the parents cannot agree on any matters concerning a child and therefore need to make a court application. 

The main thing to keep in mind is that children being exposed to conflict between parents can be harmful for them, so the more that children can be protected from this, the better.

I’ve heard about mediation. What is it and how does it help?

Leanne: Family Mediation is a process designed to help the parties getting divorced reach an agreement on issues like finances and children with the help of an independent, professionally trained mediator.  It can be more amicable and sometimes more cost effective than matters being resolved completely via solicitors, which is why it is a process we discuss with all clients and recommend in most cases.

If an agreement is reached in mediation, your solicitor can then draft the appropriate legal paperwork to make any agreement legally binding.

What one piece of advice would give me when starting divorce proceedings?

Leanne: Do not solely go by the advice of family and friends.  This area of family law is very fact specific, and what is an appropriate outcome in one person’s situation, might not be appropriate in yours. 

There are also a lot of untrue myths in this area about the legal position. Arrange a free initial appointment with myself to point you in the right direction.

Do you need support to start divorce proceedings or another area of family law? Get in touch with Leanne by emailing leanne.pollard@holdensmith.co.uk.

The content of this article is for general information only. It is not, and should not be taken as, legal advice. If you require any further information in relation to this article, please contact Holden Smith.